(Lebanon Levi and his gang of overgrown punks are to be pitied.In the normal world the Amish mafia cast would be the 30 somethings who graduate college and live in their parents basement and get really good at "world of warcraft"and other video games.i really do pity these guys because the world is going around and leaving them behind.but if you are interested in hearing about a pair of genuine died in the wool amish outlaws than i am fully prepared to regale you with the tale!!)
Bonnie and Clyde are my team of belgium draft horses.Clyde was originally named A.J.(after buckeye linebacking great A.J. Hawk). my brother in law borrowed the team one summer long ago and when he brought them back he informed me he renamed him clyde.(he never did ask to loan them again.)
But to fully appreciate the story we have to go back to the beginning.one day dad came home from the horse sale with a pair of broke back old belgium nags called "meelie" and "teelie".now "teelie "begat bonnie and several years later bonnie mothered clyde.by the photos you can see what a well matched pair of Belgium draft horses they are.
Now growing up i never really was that fond of draft horses.to put it politely they scared the crap outta me.i was always content to sit back and let my older brothers drive the draft horses but like always,good things come to an end.
When i was 13 my older brother left the farm to get a job at a saw mill and here i was having to suddenly maintain the farm on my own while having a deep rooted fear of these monstrous beasts.and i had every right to be scared.
Now i think horses can smell fear because these two had absolutely no respect for me.harnessing them up and getting them outside to get them attached together was a rodeo in itsself.but then the real fun began.
Immediately after untieing them from the hitch rack these two beasts(weighing app.2500 pounds apiece) would take off like scared rabbits with little to no regard for the poor snot nosed kid hanging onto the lines for dear life as they would go plowing through the snow with me skidding along behind yelling every profanity my meager vocabulary afforded me at the time.
They thoroughly enjoyed these little terror filled jaunts but eventually i toughed up and adjusted to the situation. They didnt really calm down,i just learned all their tricks after numerous run aways and such i gradually became numb to it and rather enjoyed the excitement when i became used to it.
Now all guys know what a testerone filled age of life is when your a 15-18 year old boy.in front of your friends you are invincible and absolutely fearless.i never really fell for this hogwash and was more practical to the point of i wouldnt do something stupid just to prove myself because i didnt have any urge to mangle my body to earn the respect of my peers.
Now one day we had a wood cutting frolic back on my brothers land and two of these fearless lads showed up to help me.
Bonnie and clyde were up to their usual shenanigans and after several "adventures "we made it to my brothers land to cut wood.(by this time it was just another day at the office for me and it didnt dawn on me that most draft horses were a bit more docile than mine).my two friends (which shall remain nameless)hoped on the back of the wagon and i took off down the valley to go cut some wood.
About halfway down the valley we came upon this low water crossing across a harmless little creek.now Clyde took it upon himself to develop a sudden hydrophobia of water(without notifying me)and when forced to cross the creek he chose to deal with it in a dramatic fashion by suddenly turning and wildly galloping up the steep tree filled valley side with the wagon and its occupants still attached.
Now after overcoming the initial shock i recovered and got the team under control.only to turn around and discover that my two "macho man"pictures of invincibility had abandoned me at the foot of the hill.
I got turned around and back down on the trail where my whitefaced friends were and told them to get back on the wagon.but they hurriedly concluded that it was a beautiful morning and they would just as soon walk the rest of the way.and after that day they always defered to me with a very sobering respect lol
But all stories aside i wouldnt trade bonnie and clyde for a million dollars.the level of excitement they bring to everyday farm life is priceless.but they are genuine Amish outlaws......
Machets gute
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