My fear of religion

  The subject i am about to tackle resonates among young men of the anabaptist faith everywhere.it is a subject that is rarely discussed but i feel the urge to delve into it.
  I find myself at a crossroads in life and therefore am being forced to face and resolve issues that i have laid dormant for many of my formative years.
  To bite the bullet and join a society governed by a set of rules set by my peers?
  This goes much deeper than that.growing up my father always struggled with giving himself under a society governed by his peers compared to deciding on his own what was wrong and right or black or white.many members of this society simply viewed this as plain rebellion or a lack of spiritual life.or was it simply a genetic restlessness that was handed to him by his forefathers before him?either way he was abundantly blessed with a restless spirit and a stubborn nature(which does not bode well in a society bases on humbleness and "one anothering")
  He struggled his entire life with these rules and battled them constantly.the question i see is;is spiritualism and disciple wrongly hinged together?
  A father spanking his child for obeying a rule he had made and a society punishing a membor for violating certain rules have a lot in common.
  Does the father (or society)have the right to mete out "tough love"on material restrictions they have made themselves(like an r rated movie or driving your bosses truck)or are they taking on more responsibility than they were designed to do as mortal human beings?
  This is the heart of the issue.if you join an anabaptist society you have to realize that you will be judged by your spiritual peers and you have to be able to accept that and mentally deal with it.if you dont properly think these things out and accept them then you will struggle with these things for many years.
  But there are also many positives.you are looking at being in an environment of good fellowship and good examples that care about your well being and treat you as a brother in arms.a society in life that will pick you up when you fall or help you rebuild your machine shed if it burns down.a group of people that genuinely cares about your well being for the rest of your life.
  But a natural pessimist like me sees an opportunity for politically motivated abuse by my peers if i dare question their line of thought. In plain words the pessimistic side of me sees a trap.
  Will i give myself up and join the society of my forefathers?my natural instinct says yes but my restless nature still questions.i think this subject requires more time and thought before reaching a conclusion.i am my fathers son.

   Machets gute